So we tend to think of ourselves as a bit more resilient up north (hard), what with us all travelling on terrible Pacer trains, eating gravy with everything and surviving, largely, without Pret a Manger every three metres.
But when winter really kicks in we all become hugely hopeless in the face of plummeting temperatures.
No matter how frequently winter comes around (every year - maybe we should launch a crowd-funder to make it one in three?) we are all equally useless at defrosting our windscreen and at finding more than one glove when required.
Or maybe that’s just me.
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When it comes to windscreen defrosting, the wide variation in techniques is a minefield.
A quick office poll saw CDs as the number one easily-available scraping items, with credit cards a close second. (Survey based on asking three tired-looking colleagues)
This is definitely an argument for old technology - have you ever tried to scrape your car with a digital playlist?
And if you use online payment systems you’ll struggle even if you attempt to use your phone instead.
The swizziest of cars cannot avoid the frozen screen conundrum and it is a basic human fact that no matter how organised you think you are, when you are stranded late at night in the freezing cold and dark after work or when you are on an early shift, you will NOT have convenient de-icer with you and instead you are negotiating the minefield. ..
Can I sacrifice the soundtrack of Frozen 2 to the cause? (Answer -Let it go);
Will I lose my credit rating if I use my Barclaycard to clear my wing mirrors? (no);
Will warm water crack my screen? (Maybe) .
I’ve personally tried every hack going.
My top tip is rubbing a potato across your windscreen the night before - apparently they contain glycerol like anti-freeze and can help in prevention.
The only problem is that, should the sun break out, your screen becomes mashed potato.
But at least, with added gravy, it doubles as dinner.
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