Who's the Daddy: School should be out for summer

After 10 weeks of lockdown we all look like we’ve made the most of an all-inclusive holiday in the Med.
Who's the Daddy?Who's the Daddy?
Who's the Daddy?

What with the sunniest spring on record, eating like pigs and drinking like fish and only allowed out to exercise for an hour a day, it’s no wonder many of us look like we’ve got a pillow up our jumpers while sporting tans the same colour as a second coat on a garden shed.

And while some are happy the kids are going back to school – let’s be honest here, they’re the ones who’ve been cooped up with a hyperactive five-year-old since late March – others fear the handbrake has come off way too soon.

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On day one, little kids who haven’t seen their friends in two-and-a-half months, will fling their arms around them on sight, having had their hands God knows where, in God knows what, because, well, they’re five.

So if little Janet and Johnny haven’t had coronavirus before, after a few weeks in school they will have, probably symptom-free. And then when school’s out for summer in mid-July, who looks after the little rascals when mum and dad are back at work? That’s right. Fat, wheezy grandpa and diabetic nana. Which in all probability it will kill. What’s the plan here, get the second wave of infections over and done with before winter?

If our kids were still little, there’s no way on God’s green Earth I’d be sending them back to school now. Without wishing to sound like a class warrior, Eton’s not open, is it? So why the rush to get our children back into state schools? Riddle me that.

Speaking of kids, our adult children (I’ll never get used to saying that) are coping with things the best way they can, funding their higher education by working at the local supermarket, often getting up at stupid o’clock for a 5am shift. They are grafters, just like their mum.

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Daughter #1’s first year at university was beset by weeks and weeks of strikes and then lockdown. We cleared out her room in halls in mid-March and lectures, seminars and tutorials have been online ever since. Well worth tuition fees of £9,250 a year, charged at six per cent interest.

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