"ALRIGHT stop, collaborate and listen..."
Sometimes in the pop music world, something just works. Against all rhyme and reason, it clicks. No matter how much you want to hate it.
You can't help yourself. Before you know it, it's seeped deep into your mind and there's no escape.
Yikes, I can't get that blasted tune out of my head...
For the all-new Sugababes, the complete opposite applies. It's just not working.
Since founder member Keisha Buchanan threw yet another strop and quit, the girl trio have floundered.
They've added Jade Ewen and her telescopic legs but, judging by their first two singles since Keisha left, the 'Babes are a shadow of their former selves.
The Sugababes used to produce feisty, sassy pop. But 'Wear My Kiss', their latest effort, is limp. Internal infighting plagued the Sugababes for years. Perhaps they needed a good ruck now and again to get the creative juices flowing. Maybe it's all a little too harmonious now.
"Rollin', in my five point O, with the rag-top down so my hair can blow."
Aargh, leave me alone! I'm trying to write a column here.
What on earth's happened to Gabriella Cilmi?
'The Aussie Amy Winehouse', the teen queen was dubbed, after jazzy hits 'Sweet About Me' and 'Warm This Winter'. But the Antipodean sex kitten's new single 'On A Mission' is the biggest departure since Kylie left Neighbours.
Gabby, although still only 18, is all grown up now. Her hair's been styled. She's showing more cleavage than the front window of Ann Summers. And she's gone all 80s disco on us.
Her video for 'On A Mission' is a space-themed camp romp, a 21st Century upgrade of Hot Gossip's 'I Lost My Heart To A Starship Trooper' twinned with the frenetic beat of Joe Jackson's 'Stepping Out' and a sprinkling of 'Maniac' from Flashdance.
Truly bizarre – but the lyrics are empowering for the fairer sex in an Anastacia/Gloria Gaynor way.
Gabriella's space age transformation could skyrocket her career, or be a case of square peg meets crater-shaped round hole. We'll see.
"It's the terror of knowing what this world is about..."
Sorry, I keep getting distracted. Recommended listening this week are the sublime 'Resistance' from the stupendous album of almost the same name ('The Resistance' by Muse) and 'Doubt' by hot new Manchester band Delphic.
And for comedy value, check out Michael Buble's version of 'Cry Me A River'. Particularly the video, where the robotic Canadian crooner moves and sings like Frank Sinatra, only the Thunderbird puppet version.
Flamin' Jedward and Vanilla Ice. They've got a lot to answer for.
Yes, I'm ashamed to say I find their video for 'Under Pressure' (Ice Ice Baby) really uplifting. Like the twins' hair.