Pay attention when I speak

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COUPLE of snotty letters in during the last few weeks because I saw the funny side of drivers pulled up by the Old Bill to be congratulated for good driving and then falling out of the car as drunk as owls.

Never heard of gallows humour, folks?

From France comes details of an absolutely hilarious cock-up concerning a pie-eyed driver who got his phone numbers crossed when his car broke down.

He phoned a recovery service and asked for assistance immediately if not sooner.

He told the nice man at he other end of the phone that speed was of the essence because he was unlicenced, uninsured and, moreover, well unsober. “I’d hate to get picked up by the soddin’ gendarmes if I was hanging about here for too long,” he said.

“Worry not,” said his saviour. “Know what you mean, We’ll send you some help immediately.”

And so he did – within a matter of minutes. Problem was it was a police car.

The nice man he had confided in was a copper and the service centre was a motorway cop shop.

He was found to be more than six times over the limit.

In fact, he half expected them to dust-off the guillotine.

See The Visitor (23-03-11) for full story.