MANY years ago, when the cops drove Wolseleys and Cortinas, the constabulary in one county dreamed up a scheme to encourage good drivers to drive even better.
Whenever they saw a car being driven particularly well they would give him a pull, congratulate him/her and present them with a certificate.
Frankly, if I had been publicity officer for the Old Bill in that neck of the woods I would have drawn their attention to certain problems likely to arise.
They probably wouldn’t have listened to me anyway.
So it came to pass that a jam butty conveying two bored-out-of-their-minds rozzers came up behind a car being driven superbly well.
So they gave him a pull and strolled over to congratulate him.
The driver literally fell out of his car and made several gallant but unsuccessful attempts to get on his feet, eventually being sick all over the constable’s shoes.
See The Visitor (02-02-11) for full story.