Our entertainments editor GREG LAMBERT talks to stand up comic Dave Spikey about his new UK tour Words Don’t Come Easy - coming soon to The Platform in Morecambe.
GL: So why call your new tour Words Don’t Come Easy? Did you name it after the FR David song of the same name?
DS: Yes, I just had to write the show around one of my favourite records of all time! No, of course I didn’t, it’s because I’m obsessed with the English language. I’ve spent a lot of time looking at song lyrics and all other aspects of life and our struggle with words. Like, for example, why people these days say “Absolutely!” instead of “Yes”. The phrases parents use like “A watched kettle never boils”. “But I’m watching it, it’s boiling, mum!” Then there’s “Don’t teach granny how to suck eggs”. “No granny, do it more sideways!” And I talk about how much I hate text speak. I don’t mind so much when youngsters do it but it’s when my 50 old mates text me with things like “Soz, C U tomoz.” What does that mean? They say it’s quicker, but not for me it’s not! I need an Enigma code breaking machine!
My gran features heavily in the show, she’s 90 years old and is coming to terms with new technology. I’ve been trying to teach her how to text and she texts my Auntie Dorothy, but then she’ll ring her up and say “Have you received my text?” and then have a chat. What’s the point in that? Then there’s menus in those gastro pubs or whatever you call them. “Pan fried mushrooms”. Of course they are fried in a pan! I also talk about hospital speak and policeman speak, all sorts of things.
GL: What about council speak? That’s one of my pet hates, like when they use “worklessness” to mean “unemployment”. They have no idea how stupid it sounds.
DS: - Worklessness? That’s a new one, Haven’t heard that one before. Yes, I do a bit of corporate speak.
See full interview in this week’s visitor (02-02-11).