QUENTIN El-Bez is a charismatic chap. Originally from Paris, he has lived in the UK for seven years and his English is perfect.

His pronunciations of certain words remain unmistakably French though - for example, when he says the word 'vodka' (as he does, frequently) it comes out as 'vudkaaaa', making it sound mysterious and exciting.

Quentin is my host for the evening's Vodka Masterclass. His job title is 'The Vodka Pimp'.

Although this description may conjour altogether more seedy images, Quentin – who aside from his articulate mastery of our language is also immaculately tailored – is clearly a man of sophistication and cultural knowledge.

This makes him ideal for his role, which is to travel up and down the country to Revolution bars and extoll the virtues and nuances of his favourite subject – the greatest of spirits.

"Tonight Greg, you are about to undergo a life-changing experience," he claims.

As The Vodka Pimp (or Vodka Guru, as that sounds far more appropriate), Quentin is employed by Revolution to change their customers' perception of vodka.

According to Quentin, vodka is not just for getting hammered. It is to be appreciated, enjoyed and understood.

In order for this to happen, and for my life to change, I must try six different types of vodka, and hear about the history and importance of each one. It's a bit like going to a wine tasting – but with vodka.

My fellow students for this particular evening's Vodka Masterclass are Oliver Hogg, manager of Revolution, bar supervisor and 'Revolution's Vodka Hero' James Rafferty, and Visitor editor Glen Cooper.

Quentin (pronounced 'Kon-tan') invites us to join him seated around a table in Revolution. It is 6pm on a Wednesday, the club is near-empty, the lighting is dim, and the ambience is perfect for a cultural experience.

As we take our seats, in front of each of us are six shot glasses – each containing a different vodka – a jug of water and a small bowl of brown sugar.

"First of all, you are about to learn how your senses work," says Quentin, who says he will dispel the idea that all vodkas are tasteless, by demonstrating the differences in the smells and tastes of each type.

But before we begin, some vodka history...

Quentin says Russia and Poland have been arguing for centuries about who invented vodka – nobody really knows where and when the spirit originated.

"It is the most enigmatic spirit in the world," he says.

"A British document in 1405 mentions vodka. That's when the official history started.

"In the 16th century it became the national beverage of Russia and Poland. People used it as a medicine to cure anything and everything.

"The word 'vodka' means the same in all Slavic languages – 'little water'.

"In the 16th century, it was actually healthier to drink than water. That's why people were dying of drinking it at any and all times of the day!"

Quentin says it was introduced into the USA in the 20th century.

Popular culture, and especially films like James Bond and TV shows like Sex In The City, turned vodka into the number one spirit in the world.

He says the famous vodka brand Stolichnaya (a favourite of Freddie Mercury, no less!) had a big contract with Pepsi in the early 20th century.

In recent years other major brands like Smirnoff and Absolut have come to the fore.

At this point Quentin breaks off from the history lesson and asks us to place a special clip on our noses.

The clip pinches my nostrils together so I can't smell, forcing me to breathe through the mouth.

Quentin then asks us to taste some brown sugar, mixed with a hint of cinammon. With the clip on my nose, I can hardly taste it. But after removing the clip, I can.

This exercise shows how the senses are connected together and when you're tasting anything, the nose and tongue work in harmony.

Apparently it will help us when smelling and tasting the vodka.

The first shot of vodka we try is Smirnoff Red, which comes with a surprising fact from Quentin.

Smirnoff is now manufactured in the UK, not Russia as expected.
He also tells us Smirnoff is 37.5% proof, the minimum alcohol content level for vodka.

Quentin asks us to take a sip of water first, to clean the palette.

As he does so, he relates a few more interesting anecdotes about vodka, to show how big an impact it has on people's lives...especially in Russia.

"There is a tradition in Russia that when drinking vodka, you must not put the glass down until it's empty.

"Another tradition is that once a bottle of vodka is opened, it must be finished before midnight. That's why many Russians start drinking early in the morning.

"Drinking vodka alone is another tradition. Many Russians apparently drink in front of a mirror.

"A Russian man, after his first daughter is born, believes he must bury as much vodka in the garden as he can. Then it will be ready to dig up on her wedding day.

"It is thought this is why many Russian girls are forced to marry in their mid-teens, so their fathers can uncover the vodka more quickly!"
Finally, after all the build-up and anticipation expertly created by our host, it is time to drink.

Quentin instructs us to experience the vodka in three stages – first to smell it, then taste a little and then knock it back for 'the finish'.

He says each stage of the process should affect our senses in different ways, and encourages us to think about how the vodka affects all areas of our mouth, from the tip of the tongue to the back of the throat.

Being the first vodka we will taste today, Smirnoff doesn't really conjour up any other smell than – well, vodka.

When tasted it's very warm on the throat, giving off an almost burning sensation – exactly what you'd expect from vodka in fact.

We then move on to Wyborowa, a Polish vodka. Quentin informs us that Wyborowa means 'exquisite'.

Quentin says this vodka is made from rye and it is very different to Smirnoff.

It certainly tastes very different - with a more 'rounded' taste, different flavours coming out around the mouth, and a longer-lasting aftertaste.

This one feels fresh and clean on the tongue – there is almost a taste of nuts and it does not leave my palette with the harsh burning feel of Smirnoff.

Already I am beginning to realise that although Smirnoff is the popular choice among vodka-drinkers, that doesn't necessarily make it the best.

This point is hammered home by our next sample – Flagship vodka, a wheat vodka from Russia.

Flagship is known as 'The choice of the Kremlin'.

"Peter the Great, the legendary Russian leader, was known as 'Mr Flagship' because he was very famous for being able to handle his vodka," says Quentin.

"All leaders of Russia, it's said, are partly chosen for their alcohol-handling capabilities."

Well, yes, all except for Boris Yeltsin.

Flagship tastes sublime. It has a creamy taste, doesn't burn the mouth and has very little smell (although my fellow Masterclass students seem to think it has a hint of banana or mint) and I am extremely taken with it.

Oliver Hogg says they have it in Revolution, but because it doesn't have the profile of Smirnoff or Stolichnaya, it is rarely ordered.

"Our customers say we want Smirnoff, we don't want any of that rubbish," he says.

"But they soon change their minds when they are told about Flagship and try it."

I fully understand where he's coming from. Flagship, just like Peter, is Great.

Luksusowa is next, another Polish vodka. Luksusowa means 'luxury' and it is a potato vodka. So Quentin passes a potato around for us to smell, just to pass the time.

Hardly surprising then that Quentin reckons this vodka tastes rather vegetably. He reckons it has an aroma of parsnip or maybe cauliflower.

I can't detect much taste to Luksusowa myself. Next please.

Krupnik is another Polish vodka, from the 16th century and is yellow in colour, which means it has been flavoured.

Krupnik is made using honey from wild bees and indeed it has a very sweet taste. It's almost like a hot toddy, like it's been mixed with hot lemon. And Quentin says it is indeed consumed by Poles to help cure the flu.

Our final vodka is another from Poland, Zubrowka...the literal translation of which is 'bison grass'. With a name like that, it comes as no surprise that Zubrowka is seen as an aphrodisiac.

I can't say that it particularly got me in the mood, but it tasted all right.

So we came to the end of our Vodka Masterclass, and aside from feeling a little light-headed, I certainly found it a fascinating experience to learn all about vodka, and find out that, just like wines, different vodkas all have their own taste, aroma and personality.

But was attending the Vodka Masterclass a life-changing experience, as Quentin promised?

Well, I now find myself scouring the shelves of Morecambe and Lancaster supermarkets in a quest to find some Flagship, but without success.

(There's plenty of Smirnoff, but I don't want any of that rubbish....)
As for you, dear reader, if you would like to have your life changed by the Revolution bar Vodka Masterclass, it costs £15 per person (£20 after Christmas). I heartily recommend it as a group night out with a difference.

And if you can handle six shots of neat vodka – plus two of Revolution's gorgeous toffee popcorn-flavoured vodka shots afterwards as a bonus treat - then you won't get too drunk...honest!

Contact Revolution bar in Lancaster for more details.